Not Taking Sides

Most days I find myself sitting on a proverbial fence. I blame it on my birthdate, which is right on the cusp between the crab and the lion. I just can't seem to come down on one side or the other when it comes to the issues that divide people. I see both sides. It's one of the reasons I love Joni Mitchell's 'Both Sides, Now.'

I didn't think about Mitchell's song when I wrote 'Back from the Edge' but an issue in the news--as several sources cleverly put it, the 'slap heard around the world' (a self-fulfilling line if ever I heard one)--has got me thinking about it again. Back from the Edge starts:

"I can't tell you I've hit the ground It isn't true that I'm lost and found

But this life is too hard to bear

But for a grace you can't see or hear..."

This verse expresses a feeling I have had since I can remember, of being alone in the world, being separate from the experiences of others--an observer with an undefined purpose. It's true that I never had a 'lost and found' or 'born again' conversion experience. When I was baptized into the Christian church, I didn't feel 'saved.' No, in fact I felt like I had been continually watched over and kept safe in moments of danger by a force I couldn't name. When I became a Baha'i, one of the titles of God used in Baha'i prayers became meaningful for me--the "Help in Peril."

So, back to the slap. I've read several really well-thought out arguments about how and why either Will Smith or Chris Rock were in the wrong. One vlogger even put just about all of the blame on Jada Pinkett Smith. Although I don't believe in a literal Devil persona, something Denzel Washington was reported as saying to Will Smith has some truth in it. Let me explain my thinking.

According to the press, Mr. Washington said to Mr. Smith: “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.” he may as well have said "pride comes before a fall," but this formulation is the softer, elitist version. It's a way of praising someone you know has done wrong, and at the same time distancing yourself from a deserved disapprobation. I'm sure this isn't the only thing Washington said to Smith, and I'm not trying to take his words out of context, but I would like for us to think about who are the real devils who will 'come for you' when you do wrong in public? Isn't it everyone else who is clamoring to throw a stone at an offender, despite the fact that all of us have been hit by the same criticisms and are being smoothed into 'normal' shape by the voices of the watchers in the world?

We are not here to judge. Surely, we each have a voice, and a right to comment as we please. But life isn't all right and wrong, black and white (even in Hollywood). The question isn't who did the wrong thing on Oscar night, or even who did the right thing. We're all human and in need of grace. At least I am. Lord, help me get back from the edge before I fall on my face (again).